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i love you with all that i have.  i am such a lazy ass, i've… - these words are my diary...screaming out loud
sometimes the road ahead is paved with anything but good intentions...
i love you with all that i have.

 i am such a lazy ass, i've been watching so many movies lately.

i watched donnie darko like twice the other day.  well i watched the first half and then watched the entire thing over again later.  i had never seen it before.  and i pretty much loved it to death. and i guess its supposed to be on TV AGAIN tommorrow (well today) and i probably will watch it lmao.  i watched the Science of Sleep with fee two nights ago and I watched What Dreams May Come (and made me bawl BTW...) with my parents.

i'm a deadbeat.
and i'm broke.
not only am i deadbeat that is broke.
but i am a deadbeat that is broke, and her boyfriends birthday is on Thursday.

lets say it together:



p.s.  and i have a bad case of imsomnia while my poor dog is in urgent care being treated and monitored for 24 hours, and all i can think of is "please be alright...please be alright..." over and over, and hoping that fucking phone doesn't ring with bad news.  they called us when we get home, and said that avery had a seizure.  i thought my mom was going to have an anerism.  she was upset.  she wants to blame herself, she can't.  we didn't know what the hell was wrong with him, and neither did the vet.  it's really upsetting to us because Petey our dog that we had to put down when i was in 7th grade and i grew up with....had seizures and whatnot before we had to put him asleep.  the thought of having to lose another dog right now in this point of my life..i can't even and don't even want to think about.  i have such a bad feeling in my stomach that won't go away.  i feel like if I go to sleep, i'll wake up and he'll be gone...

i swear i am getting chills right now. i just want my dog to be alright.  this has been a shitty two months, please don't take avery from me. please please please please pleaseeeeeeeeeee.

i wish i had somebody to talk to.  i wish i had the answers.  i wish my dog would just be alright and they could just FIX HIM!!!!!!  i'm angry now.  i just want them to TAKE CARE OF HIM!  the fucking vet at the Urgent Care place we had to take him to, was all joking around and calling him fat.  i thought i was going to punch that lady in the face.  i'm not joking.  that was rude and uncalled for.  she was all like "i have a boston terrier too..and i can fit mine inside of yours..HAR HAR HAR."  you should have seen the look of death on my face at that moment.  i walked out of the room at that point.  losing pets is probably one of the shittest things ever.  there is something about a sick/dying pet, or a pet that you have lost...that almost seems worse then losing a human.  i'm overexaggerating...because both are equally HORRIBLE...but do does anybody know what i mean?  a pet is there for you no matter what...they stare up at you with there little eyes...they are there to comfort you when you are crying..and it's like they just know, they just know when you are hurting and they want to fix things.  they want to make it all better by licking your face or just being there for you to pet. they always seem to have this way of making you feel better. losing a pet is like losing your closest friend...and i can't take that. not right now.  i don't want my poor avery to suffer anymore believe me.  i saw what petey went through.  i just dont' want avery to be in pain, but i want him to be alive. i want these people to figure out a way to make him better.  just a little longer. hold on buddy. please. your family loves you....

Feeling: awake awake

1 kiss under the mistletoe or santa baby
rob_danger From: rob_danger Date: February 27th, 2007 04:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
im so sorry what you are going through,
my thoughts are with you

ive been in your shoes only too many times..

1 kiss under the mistletoe or santa baby